iBitch
I've decided I don't want this to be just my art and writing journal anymore, mostly because, uh, I haven't really been doing any art-and-writing lately that isn't DDD-related. So instead I'm going to actually use it like a normal person uses a normal LJ--to post quiz results and inside jokes that don't mean anything to anyone but my friends. (Sorry Xanga. I still love you. Really.)

Actually, since I'm bored, I'm just going to rant about stuff.


I hate my sister's computer. ...Okay, that's a lie. I hate being restrained to my sister's computer. I hate that she can take it away from me whenever she wants, that she can use it to punish me when I do something she doesn't approve of something I'm doing. She hasn't actually taken it away from me yet, but she's threatened to, and even when she means it as a joke, it's scary. I don't think she understands how scary that is to me.

Actually, I get the feeling that this whole summer is going to be characterized by my family sniping ungently at me over my computer usage, and not getting it. Sorry, family. I know for you the computer is a fun thing that you can use to talk to friends easy, or a disturbing technological marvel, or otherwise merely a curiosity, but to me it's my life.

...That's kind of dramatic.

Still. As "troubling" as it may sound, the Internet's the most important thing to me in the world. It's where my girlfriend is, it's where DDD is, it's how I communicate with my school friends. It's how I communicate with the world, basically, and entertain myself, to boot. It's how I keep Blackout quiet, how I keep Lucinda mollified, how I keep up with fannish things.

It keeps me from going BUGFUCK, for serious.

Which is why I'm so terrified the verdict on Theta will come back SCREWED. I don't want to fight with TCNJ and Dell over getting a new computer, even if they can save my files from the old one. I don't want to lose everything I have on there. I want Theta. I want her back whole, I want her back working, I want her back now, so I can curl up in my room and stay up 'til ungodly hours and not have to deal with Mom bitching and Jolie threatening to cut me off.

So, hopefully, lol. Hopefully it'll all come back cool. IDK. I just want it to happen sooooon, whatever happens. I hate being in limbo like this and it's only beena couple days, hahah.

Blarg. Whatever. Whine whine whine, heh.

TL;DR: I miss Theta and my family Doesn't Understand Me, woe.


ARGH. I WANT TO SEE IRON MAN. If my dad/friends crap out on me again tomorrow, I'm just fucking going by myself. I've been waiting since last Friday. >:|

ARGH. I WANT A COPY OF IF. I'm really tempted to just buy it, and I'm probably going to cave and do so soon anyway, but I'm trying to hold out. I should be saving money so I can spend it all doing stuff with Norry when she gets here. And in that vein...

ARGH. I WANT IT TO BE JUNE. Pls to speed up, time, kthnx. Love, Janella.

ARGH. I WISH WE HAD BBC AMERICA. Just wanna watch Robin Hood on a real TV, lol. Although she said she'd let me, I don't have much faith in the friend up the road who does get that channel, and said I can come over to watch it when it's on.

ARGH. I WANT A SNAKE. ....Uh, yeah, I just really want a pet snake. And Az McQueen passed right before finals started--Mom didn't tell me 'til I came home, and let me just say, that was a fabulous thing to be greeted with when I walked in the door. Really.--so I have, like, a slot, as horrible as it sounds. But snakes aren't allowed on campus as pets, so. I wouldn't be able to bring him (legitimately) to college with me in the fall.

ARGH. I WANT TO CHANGE MY MAJOR. Still have to talk Mom into it, alas. She's convinced I want to because of Orgo, and it's more than that. I just...have to convince her. My dad told me the other day I need to decide what I want to do and do that, and it kind of...scared me, I guess? I don't know. I guess I don't really know what I want to do with my life, other than just vaguely. I want to do science, I want to write, yeah, yeah, but what? Blarg.

ARGH. I WANT...no, wait, I think I'm done with this section of tonight's excessively long blog entry. Okay!

TL;DR: I WANT THINGS I CAN'T HAVE, AS EXPRESSED IN CAPSLOCK.


Watched 30 Days of Night with my mom and sis last night and it was...surprisingly good. I wasn't too impressed by the ad campaign when it was in theatres, and I've seen so many shitty horror movies the past couple of years that I didn't have high hopes at all.

But it was good. The vampires were scary as fuck and it was a novel setting and the ending made me fucking BAWW. I loved it, loved that the ending wasn't a traditionally happy ending, but was satisfying nonetheless. It fit. I dunno, it was really, really good. I kind of zoned for a lot of the movie because I can't really stomach straight horror anymore and I was texting Norry and writing porn in a notebook, but I watched the last, like, half-an-hour, and it was...yeah. Awesome.

And the very last scene made me think Eros and Blackout and I aksjdlakjdlaksd don't know why except I kind of do but I'm too lazy to articulate it and yeah.

I'm in the middle of Gaiman's Interworld right now, and I feel bad, because it's interesting and pretty funny sometimes and I do, like, legitimately want to read it...but I just bought Someplace to Be Flying during my ridiculous book binge yesterday and I really want to read that too, but I'd feel weird stopping Interworld now just for that, so, like, hahaha. I don't know. Babble, babble. I don't know what I'm trying to say, it's almost three AM.

Damn I can't wait to get my own computer again. I want to get the lead-ups for EPIC PLOT on DDD started so ridiculously bad. Like, I keep writing drabbles and stuff about it in private posts to myself just so I won't forget this emotion or that turn of phrase or whatever that I want to try and hit upon.

How lame is that, huh? We don't even know when we're going to get a chance to start the pre-plot, and I'm planning little things like that, and trust me, I know it's stupid to try to rock-solid plan out happenings in an RP, because sometimes the characters just don't cooperate. But. It's just bouncing around in my head and I need to get it out, y'know? This is what I do now, instead of "legitimate" writing. I dunno, I'm lame.

So I was driving around with my sister and a friend yesterday and we were talking about how cool it would be to have boulders for a lawn, instead of grass. And I say, "I'd just, like, go outside in the morning and bask." And I meant it like I'd lay in the sun and feel the boulder under me and let it, like, ground me, or however it is the hippies have chosen to phrase that feeling that I get when I touch a rock and am consumed by its history, its connection, its, um, rockness. But Jess just looks at me and goes, "Like a lizard?"

There you have it. I'm a lizard.

TL;DR: 30 Days of Night had a good ending. I picked the wrong book to read and am too stubborn to change. I am a lizard.


Godsfuck, this entry got kind of long. Haha. [Goes back to LJ-cut and make helpful summaries--but not to proof for spelling and grammar, because it is three now, and I just can't be assed.]